August 4th, 2020 By: K’Lee Reynolds
I miss my family so much.
I miss “home”.
I honestly feel homesick and I haven’t had that feeling in a really long time. I have never felt so trapped as a military wife. Or maybe I have and I just haven’t felt this way in such a long time.
Have you ever felt trapped as a military wife?
Trapped in the middle of a deployment with no end in sight.
Trapped in a new place with no community while you sit alone at home as your husband makes friends at work.
Trapped in the midst of a pandemic with no in-person community to turn to.
I have felt trapped many times in this life, but now it seems worse. Lately, there is absolutely no escaping. I’m so sick and tired of it. I want to be able to travel home and see my beloved family this summer.
I want to be able to spend summer days at my parent’s house and eat at all my favorite places that I used to go to as a kid. I want to visit old friends and catch up on how life is going. I want my kids to be able to spend precious time with their grandparents and make those memories that I know will stick with them for the rest of their lives.
But, Covid. But, we have to stay within a certain mile radius of our current duty station.
On my best days, I know there is a bigger reason for all of this. I know without a doubt that God is in all of this, and He really wants me to be still. He wants me to soak up these moments at home with my children. He wants me to make memories to last a lifetime without having to go anywhere at all. He wants me to spend time with Him in the Word and in prayer.
On my best days, I’m perfectly content with that. But, we are human and every day is not our best day.
I’m thankful I know a God that loves me even on my worst days. I’m thankful that when I’m sad about the fact that I can’t see all of my family, He’s sad with me and for me. I’m thankful that He goes before me and He knows what the future holds even when I am filled with doubt.
So, it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to miss the things we all probably took for granted before all of this started. It’s okay to miss going on a long-awaited leave with your family to a place other than the day to day military life. It’s okay to want a break from it ALL.
However, I do have faith that there will be brighter days ahead. In the meantime, we just have to be still and know that He is God and He is a way maker, and a promise keeper.
We will get to travel again. We will get a short break from military life. We won’t be trapped forever, military wife. We just have to take it one day at a time.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12