Ashlee Beasley // 11.7.20
A season of struggle in your marriage can seem so impossible. Healing takes time, of course but there are a few things you can do right now to help your marriage weather the storm.
Let's get to it!
1. Adjust your expectations
If you're walking through one of the many stressful circumstances that come with military life then your marriage is going to need a little grace. Whether you're in the middle of a PCS , reintegrating or approaching a deployment-- expect your emotions to be running HIGH. It really diffuses a situation to recognize that everyone's reactions may not be entirely rational while in the middle of these heightened feelings.
So, choose to let a few things go.
Rest when you need to and let him do the same. Let the dishes and the laundry be what they will be; remember that kids are going to act like kids and don't put the expectations of a normal circumstance onto an abnormal one.
2. Control your response
Listen, military wife. I know how heartbreaking it is to find your marriage in a difficult season. I know how exhausting the fight is and how devastating the hurt is. When you feel like you are doing everything you can and your husband isn't noticing, I know how impossible it seems to try harder.
You're going to feel like throwing in the towel, speak how you've been spoken to and dismiss how you've been dismissed. A snide remark is so tempting when it seems to have the power to offend how you've been offended. You're desperate to be heard and no one is listening. Any communication feels better than nothing--even if it means a fight.
So, the resentment builds; and the pain deepens; and sooner or later it's all spilling out of your words and drowning your marriage. If you let it.
When everything else feels out of control, you always have control of you.
Military wife, the impact you have on your home is great. You're the heartbeat of it when your husband is away and when he returns again. You have the ability to set a powerful tone in your home by the way you respond to your circumstances. Choose to make it a response that brings healing to your marriage.
3. Remember you're on the same team
It's so easy to forget about all the things you love about each other when you're in the middle of a trial.
Remember that you aren't fighting WITH each other; you are fighting FOR each other.
It can be very powerful to remind him that you aren't going anywhere even though you know you're in a hard place. It breaks down everyone's emotional barriers and opens up communication in a way that paves the road for progress.
You've got this, military wife. No marriage is perfect but our husbands are so worth the fight. Stay patient, stay committed and stay strong.
We'll be here praying and cheering you on as your military marriage conquers the battle.